Star Cast: Tiger Shroff, Tara Sutaria, Nawazuddin Siddiqui & a ship-load of crap!
Director: Ahmed Khan
What’s Good: I’d like to quote a legendary reviewer Roger Ebert to start my rant with, “This movie doesn’t scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn’t the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn’t below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.”
What’s Bad: Your reaction if you still decide to watch the film after reading this entire thing!
Loo Break: The only way you can do good to your body while watching the film!
Watch or Not?: If you want to save the ticket price, go to your room, close your eyes, and think about all the action sequences that Tiger has done in the past. There you go, money saved, better visuals watched!
Available On: Theatrical Release
Runtime: 142 Minutes (of yawn-fest)
Okay, I’ll start to tell the story of this film with a confession: I slept midway for good 5 minutes even after having a 12-hour sleep. This wasn’t a tiring night’s sleep, this was my brain sleeping from all the nonsense it has seen in the disguise of cinema in the past few years. On my way back home, I was just thinking one thing: How would I explain the story of this film in my review? Then I realised, that even if I tried to do it, I’ll fail because a story like this can’t be told twice.
I’ll try, Bablu (Tiger Shroff) is a hacker (working for the government) looking for a CBI agent code-named Architect. The moment this scene happened, I started joking if the agent is Architect then Bablu would surely be a Plumber AND HE WAS. The guy turns out to be a fake architect, who then tries to get hold of Bablu on the orders of Laila (Nawazuddin Siddiqui), a psycho killer who’s planning to loot all of India at once.
Do you know what’s Laila’s master plan to loot India? To hack everybody’s account with the help of Bablu on 31st March (because year ending) and transfer 10 Lakhs Crore to his account. Hmm! (Kyunki Bunty toh ch**** hai!)
Heropanti 2 Movie Review: Script Analysis
They say some movies leave a bad aftertaste in your mouth, this one leaves blisters & sores. Sajid Nadiadwala has written the story for this one, but it’s not for us mere mortals to decode this way ahead-of-its-time sci-fi drama. Years from now, when archaeologists will research about 2022 and how people’s mindsets were in this era, they would discover Heropanti 2’s DVD through excavation in Andheri West and realise how the pandemic had affected the human race mentally.
Tiger Shroff’s Bablu is addressed as Ravana because he had 10 heads, even though he won’t be using a single one of them. They’ve even milked the ‘Choti Bachi Ho Kya?’ trend forcefully dubbing it over some other dialogue and it proves only one thing: the memes are way funnier. Credit where it’s due, Kabir Lal’s cinematography is slightly better than all the chaos happening around the storyline.
Some action sequences are fun to watch till a certain point, then you realise there’s a film to watch as well. Usually, the action sequences are designed around the film, here the film is designed around them and it’s worse than Majnu Bhai’s painting. I won’t be talking about AR Rahman’s music in more than 3 words, so fitting in some thoughts about Jalwanuma here: Rahman could’ve just kept this for an Imtiaz Ali film instead of wasting this with a video that without music would look like any other party track featuring Tiger Shroff. You can just add Heropanti 2’s title track on Jalwanuma’s video and it won’t matter.
Heropanti 2 Movie Review: Star Performance
Tiger Shroff continues to literally ‘flex’ his moves and has an otherworldly physical resilience. There’s no doubt of touching his limits as far as the sequences go in which he talks through his body. But, the issue is, there are dialogues to be spoken and not even good ones. You’ve seen him doing action sequences, you’ve seen him dance, in this one, he takes a notch ahead and dances through an action sequence saving Tara from a stupid villain who unloads dozens of guns on them in a closed house and they still escape alive.
Tara Sutaria hits new bottom with this one. In the sacrifice of not being just a flowerpot actress, she becomes the Stapelia gigantea (one of the worst smelling flowers) of this clueless pot designed by Ahmed Khan. What the hell is even Nawazuddin Siddiqui doing in this film? The feminine trait of his character Laila is the cringiest things I’ve seen, and mind you I’ve watched Satyameva Jayate 2 as well.
Heropanti 2 Movie Review: Direction, Music
I never thought I’d say this but before this, I thought no film can beat Satyameva Jayate 2 at its game, but Heropanti 2 not only comes close to it but even makes it look like ‘Godfather’. Ahmed Khan jumps ship from Baaghi to Heropanti & doesn’t really change much in his style, maintaining the consistency.
Remember, I mentioned I won’t be talking about AR Rahman’s music in more than three words? It’s, “Why Rahman, Why?”
Heropanti 2 Movie Review: The Last Word
All said and done, If I get a chance to watch one film out of this & Satyameva Jayate 2, I’d love to watch both the films back to back and turn into a psychopath to only hope that I’d at least understand both these films.
**** *** stars! (No, it’s not seven stars, it’s a two-word message)
Another film released in theatres this week, read our Runway 34 movie review to know if that’s any better.
Heropanti 2 Trailer
Heropanti 2 releases on 29 April, 2022.
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